In recent months I have adopted a policy that I call,"Swerving." Swerving is when I avoid getting into an argument. It's a new skill for me. Because the "me" of ten years ago flew head-on into these situations, feeling my blood pressure rise and revving up for the good fight. Except I left these encounters feeling mad and frustrated, because inevitably, the exchanger and I still would not see eye-to-eye. I wasn't convinced of their (stupid) stance and they weren't willing to see the wisdom of mine. You can see how this would be frustrating.
Lately, being older and perhaps wiser, and definitely more tired, I've decided to swerve. I can't change people's minds, especially if they are looking for trouble. So a-swerving I go.
For example, Phil's grandma at a recent family gathering. She's a devout Catholic, as are my parents. She started interrogating asking Phil why he doesn't go to Church. I already began to head for the nearest exit. Then she had to make sure he knew that he "should" (do not, for the love of all that is, indeed, holy ever use the word "should" in a statement to Phil, it won't work out the way you had hoped) go to Church for the kids' sakes. And Phil shot her down at each pass, and then she says, as I'm sliding the back door open to make my escape, "Well, what about Jenny?" And my father-in-law (God love *him*) says, "What about Jenny? She's right there, ask her!" And I said, "Nope, I'm not here. See, my foot is out the door, I'm in transit. I am not taking part in this conversation." And away I went. An example of a successful swerve.
I could have stayed and unleashed on the 80-year-old, but why? I wouldn't be proud of myself. And she wouldn't have understood that to me, the Catholic Church feels like an old wool sweater. Comforting if you're freezing but not too long before the itchiness drives you nuts.
Swerving has definitely been helpful. I've avoided conflicts, been able to listen to whiny people without getting frustrated....because, as it turns out, giving a fake sympathetic look and a nod is also a good way to swerve away from saying, "Oh shut the 'eff up."
But there are times when my fiery side still pops out. But I like to believe it's during those moments that only true deserve it. Take for instance my commute to work yesterday. I got cut-off, and by cut-off I mean slam-on-your-brakes-or-your-vehicle-will-become-one-with-an-ugly-maroon-Chevrolet-sedan, no less than two times. The same ugly maroon Chevrolet sedan. Both times and both by the same driver who could only be described as a woman troll. Poster woman for the woman trolls.
So at the second time, it had to be said. I'm not proud to say that if you saw a woman leaning out of her minivan's driver-side window yelling, "You SUCCCCKKKKK!" to a maroon Chevrolet sedan on Hwy. 238 in CA....it could have been me.
Comments