Now that my focus is on staying home and healing, I do have more time to think. Which is both a blessing and a curse. Anyway, today I realized an interesting paradox. I was going through the Target ad and everything that appealed to me (clothing-wise) I would point out to Phil and say, "Ohhh, I like this. Look how cozy it is," or "Wow, I totally want this, it looks completely comfy." And he'd say, "Hmm," which means, I am listening to you but not really internalizing what you are saying. That's okay, that's the language of married people sometimes and it would probably freak me out if he suddenly had an interest for fashion...I mean, I like my roughneck hubby just the straight way he is.
Alright, for those who have fogotten (and I wouldn't blame you if you had) I have been on disability since 11/1/2009. And I have been dressing "cozy" and "comfy-ish" ever since. No uncomfortable slacks or blouses for me. No shoes that pinch or make my foot contort into unnatural positions--unless it is those hot black boots I have. Those are the exception.
Anyway, the focus has been on comfort but there's a thin line between cozy and slobby. Like, I really think I might have shifted into the more slobby, tired mom who barely can run a brush through her hair and pull on a pair of sweats. As a sidenote, despite the impression I just made with that last sentence, those moms deserve our respect. It isn't easy being Mommy and the only thing that might be nice to that mommy all day is a nice pair of tennis shoes. So you really can't judge. Unless you're judging yourself....then you can have at it.
And that's who this is about (naturally), me. So what am I going to do? I've made a more concentrated effort to invite make-up back into my life and that has been a self-esteem booster. I did compromise out of the sweatpants and into yoga pants which are far cuter and I would think more stylish as well. And jeans are okay, I mean I'm really not doing anything other than resting and doing light housework. But I feel like I might be in need of a Mommy Makeover.
But I don't want to appear on TV to do it. No thanks, I don't need the whole world to see the "before" picture that is my present reality.
Now excuse me, I need to find my favorite blanket and curl up on the well-worn identation on the couch that is mine. I promise to contemplate my new me as I take a nap.
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